So you have a problem with the word ”gay”, but you like to have sex with men? …. normally this is where the accusations of hypocrisy and internalized homophobia, and other vapid comments would start assaulting you. But brother, I know exactly how you feel. ”Gay” is a bit of a tainted word, isn’t it? It stems from the words happy/carefree, and coined from the ”dandy” culture of early 20th century, basically demasculated, effeminate rich men who were unable to hide their mannerisms in a world where homosexuality was unacceptable, and even illegal. It was a means to an end – survival. There is just one problem. Not all men who are attracted to other men are effeminate. We have masculine minds, and we walk this world, often with a furrowed brow. Hardly qualifies as ”carefree”. But nonetheless people judge us. Being a Man today is one of the most unfashionable things you can be. Women will ridicule you, ”gays” will call you out, lesser men will feel threatened by you.

Then we seek companionship and warmth with other men. Beautiful, complex, everyday heroes. We touch each other, smell each other, taste each other, and in that moment no place on his body is taboo. The freedom of kissing, licking, sucking, caressing any part of his body without shame or second thought is one of the most liberating feelings you can achieve. You pleasure each other like only two people with the same body can. And they wanna reduce this to ”gay”?? Skipping down the street like a little girl with a lollipop and a hapless grin on your face?

No. It’s time for a new term. After all, we are a verbal species, so labels are inevitable. I like to use the term ”androsexual”, stemming from ”andros”, ”man”. It simply means ”sexually attracted to men”.”, without any cultural connotations whatsoever. Therefore it doesn’t limit you.

Peace, and manhugs.

Ben

2 thoughts on “Peace & Manhugs

    1. Men how identify as str8 despite having sex with other men, are having a lack of vocabulary. They can’t identify with any of the words we have because of the cultural connotations that come with them. They feel that words like ”gay” or ”queer” or ”homo” also requires them to be a part of a certain scene, and that it emasculates them.
      They don’t have a word to describe themselves, and so they resort to the closest one they feel comfortable with – str8.
      Of course, there is also denial. Many men can’t deal with the stigma of suddenly belonging to a minority. It’s up to us who are comfortable with ourselves to have patience, and educate these men so that they can make the journey we once made. We need to bring them to the truth that homosexuality, androsexuality, is a natural state of men, and that they are not a minority for feeling these urges. We need to lead by example, and show them that honosexuality is the manliest state you can possibly be. Pull the veil from their eyes as it were.

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